How Do You Receive Love?

People can care deeply about us without their actions necessarily registering as love.

This quiz asks a different question: what actually makes you feel loved? Think about moments when you feel particularly seen, safe, valued, supported, wanted, understood, or connected.

The scale

1 — Not meaningful to me
2 — A little meaningful
3 — Somewhat meaningful
4 — Very meaningful
5 — Extremely meaningful / this strongly makes me feel loved

Don’t answer according to what you think a good friend or partner should do. Think about your actual experience.

0 of 36 answered

1. I feel especially connected when someone makes plans to experience something with me.
Tap a number or drag along the line
2. Hearing specifically what someone appreciates or admires about me makes me feel loved.
Tap a number or drag along the line
3. When I’m struggling, someone staying emotionally present and genuinely trying to understand me makes me feel cared for.
Tap a number or drag along the line
4. I feel cared for when someone willingly shares money or resources to make my life easier, safer, or more enjoyable.
Tap a number or drag along the line
5. Deep conversations where someone genuinely engages with my thoughts make me feel close to them.
Tap a number or drag along the line
6. Welcome physical affection—such as cuddling, holding hands, leaning against each other, hugs, or kisses—makes me feel connected.
Tap a number or drag along the line
7. Someone taking care of an annoying or difficult task for me can feel deeply loving.
Tap a number or drag along the line
8. I feel close to someone when we can comfortably share space without needing to constantly interact.
Tap a number or drag along the line
9. Receiving a meme, song, tiny object, snack, screenshot, or other “this made me think of you” gesture can make my entire day.
Tap a number or drag along the line
10. When someone genuinely listens to me explain something I’m passionate about, I feel accepted and understood.
Tap a number or drag along the line
11. I feel cared for when someone recognizes that I’m low on capacity and willingly helps carry something.
Tap a number or drag along the line
12. When I want it, firm or grounding physical contact can create a particularly strong feeling of safety and connection.
Tap a number or drag along the line
13. Going somewhere, trying something, making something, playing something, or having an experience together makes me feel close to people.
Tap a number or drag along the line
14. Being explicitly recognized for my effort, growth, qualities, or accomplishments matters to me.
Tap a number or drag along the line
15. I value people who can sit with my difficult emotions without immediately fixing, minimizing, or escaping them.
Tap a number or drag along the line
16. Someone buying dinner, sharing supplies, covering an expense, giving me something useful, or otherwise sharing resources can communicate care strongly to me.
Tap a number or drag along the line
17. I feel connected when someone is curious about my opinions and wants to explore ideas with me.
Tap a number or drag along the line
18. Regular affectionate physical contact helps maintain my sense of connection with someone.
Tap a number or drag along the line
19. Someone cooking, cleaning, driving, fixing, organizing, making a call, or handling an errand for me can make me feel very supported.
Tap a number or drag along the line
20. Quietly doing separate things beside someone can feel just as intimate as actively doing something together.
Tap a number or drag along the line
21. Small things someone collected or saved specifically because they thought of me feel particularly meaningful.
Tap a number or drag along the line
22. Someone willingly entering my special interest, hobby, elaborate theory, collection, or current obsession makes me feel trusted and accepted.
Tap a number or drag along the line
23. I feel secure in relationships where responsibilities can change depending on each person’s capacity.
Tap a number or drag along the line
24. When I’m overwhelmed, the right kind of firm or sustained pressure can sometimes feel more comforting than words.
Tap a number or drag along the line
25. Looking back on things we’ve experienced together strengthens my feeling of connection with someone.
Tap a number or drag along the line
26. Statements like “I’m proud of you,” “I appreciate you,” or “I noticed what you did” have a strong emotional impact on me.
Tap a number or drag along the line
27. I feel safest with people who make genuine room for my emotional experience.
Tap a number or drag along the line
28. Someone choosing to use their resources to care for me can make me feel valued and considered.
Tap a number or drag along the line
29. Being able to spend hours discussing a question, story, theory, subject, or idea can feel intimate.
Tap a number or drag along the line
30. When I go a long time without affectionate touch from someone I’m normally physically close with, I notice its absence.
Tap a number or drag along the line
31. Someone noticing what needs to be done and handling it without requiring me to manage the entire process makes me feel cared for.
Tap a number or drag along the line
32. I love relationships where silence is comfortable and neither of us has to entertain the other person.
Tap a number or drag along the line
33. “I saw this and immediately thought of you” is one of my favorite things to hear.
Tap a number or drag along the line
34. When someone is excited to listen to me talk at length about something I love, I feel closer to them.
Tap a number or drag along the line
35. Body doubling, reminders, help getting started, task support, or someone asking “what can I take off your plate?” can make me feel deeply supported.
Tap a number or drag along the line
36. Firm hugs, squeezes, weight, or other welcome grounding pressure can give me a kind of connection that ordinary light touch doesn’t.
Tap a number or drag along the line