How Do You Give Love?

When somebody matters to you, what do you naturally do?

This quiz explores the ways you tend to express affection, connection, support, and care.

The scale

1 — Not like me
2 — A little like me
3 — Sometimes like me
4 — Very much like me
5 — Extremely like me / I do this constantly

Don’t answer according to what you think a good friend or partner should do. Think about your actual behavior.

0 of 36 answered

1. When I care about someone, I want to make plans for things we can experience together.
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2. I regularly tell people I care about the specific things I admire or appreciate about them.
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3. When someone I love is struggling, my instinct is to listen, understand what they’re feeling, and stay emotionally present with them.
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4. When I have the resources, I enjoy paying for things, treating someone, sharing what I have, or buying things that make their life easier.
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5. I show interest in someone by asking what they think and engaging deeply with their ideas.
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6. When it’s welcome, I naturally express affection through hugs, cuddling, holding hands, leaning against someone, kisses, or other physical closeness.
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7. If someone I care about is busy or stressed, I often look for a concrete task I can take care of for them.
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8. I like spending time near people I care about even when we’re doing completely separate things.
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9. I frequently send people memes, videos, songs, screenshots, links, snacks, tiny gifts, or random objects because they reminded me of them.
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10. Sharing something I’m fascinated by in great detail is one way I invite people into my world.
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11. I naturally adjust responsibilities based on who has more energy or capacity that day.
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12. When someone I care about enjoys it, I like offering firm hugs, squeezes, weight, or other grounding physical contact.
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13. I frequently suggest games, trips, projects, restaurants, events, hobbies, or other things we could do together.
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14. I make an effort to recognize people’s accomplishments, effort, growth, or qualities out loud.
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15. I check in on people’s emotional worlds rather than only asking what they’ve been doing.
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16. Sharing food, transportation, household resources, money, or other material resources feels like a natural part of caring for people.
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17. I send people articles, questions, theories, books, videos, or ideas because I want to know what they think.
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18. I naturally reach for affectionate physical contact with people I’m close to when I know they welcome it.
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19. I often show love by cooking, cleaning, driving, fixing, organizing, running errands, or otherwise making someone’s day easier.
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20. I don’t need constant conversation to enjoy someone’s company. I’m happy simply existing in the same space.
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21. If I find something small that feels very them, I want to bring it back to them.
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22. When someone shows interest in one of my passions, I want to tell them everything about it.
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23. When someone is out of spoons, I look for things I can temporarily carry for them.
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24. I like being able to help someone regulate or settle through the kinds of firm, predictable physical contact they enjoy.
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25. Some of my favorite ways to build relationships involve creating memories together.
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26. I frequently say things like “I’m proud of you,” “I appreciate you,” or “I noticed how hard you worked.”
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27. When someone shares something vulnerable, I try to make it safe for them to keep sharing.
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28. I sometimes spend money specifically because I know it can create comfort, access, security, or joy for someone I love.
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29. Teaching each other things and exploring ideas together is one way I build intimacy.
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30. Small affectionate touches throughout the day are one of the ways I communicate closeness.
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31. When I notice something needs doing, I prefer to actually do something rather than only say “let me know if you need anything.”
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32. Being quietly occupied beside someone can feel like actively spending time with them.
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33. My messages to people I love frequently amount to some version of “LOOK AT THIS. IT MADE ME THINK OF YOU.”
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34. Sharing my niche interests, elaborate theories, favorite facts, or current obsession is something I do more with people I trust.
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35. I offer reminders, body doubling, task-starting help, transportation, planning help, or other executive-function support when someone wants it.
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36. Firm physical reassurance can be one of the ways I communicate “you’re safe with me.”
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